“Don’t put the key to your happiness in
someone else’s pocket.” Unknown
Whenever I hear about a woman, or a man for that matter, who is struggling to get over a breakup or a job firing, I am always curious: how much of that person’s own happiness did he or she invest in that relationship? Unfortunately, all too often the answer is “too much.” You are the only person who can influence your happiness. In order to achieve success, you must own it; you must take responsibility for your own feelings rather than foisting them on to someone else.
Follow the logical train of thought here for just a moment. If someone else “makes you happy,” then you have put a huge burden on that person. Would you want to be responsible for someone else’s feelings? Of course not. No one would. That is an impossible burden to bear. Yet, many of us expect our spouses or our children or our bosses or our co-workers to “make us happy.” How can they possibly do that if we are not already happy?
Another reason never to fix our own happiness on someone else is because that person may disappoint us. As much as we do not like to admit it, spouses do sometimes walk away, even after years of marriage. Children may disappoint us by making poor choices. Bosses may fire us, even if we tried our hardest to do a good job. All these things are challenges, but they do not have to be tragedies if we own our own happiness. When you are not expecting someone else to make you happy, you begin to take steps and do things that are much more conducive to supporting your goals and your dreams. You just act differently, and other people will see the change in your confidence. Ironically, when you become self-confident, people are more eager to work with you and meet your expectations!
If you want real happiness and success, own it yourself. Become responsible for your own happiness and watch how quickly you move from depressing to dynamic when you stop relying on others for your joy!